My two-year-old son, Henry, LOVES escalators. There is one right at the front of our grocery store here in Switzerland. When I take Henry shopping, we can't get our cart before riding the escalators first. At the top, we simply walk about 10 feet to the left and ride back down again. I think the guys in the electronics store on the second level think of me as the crazy American mom who rides the escalators.
When we first got here, I had to hold Henry's hands so he wouldn't fall over. But now he can do it all by himself. That wasn't without some effort. I remember the first time he held his hand out to me and I said, "You can do it!" An expression of disbelief and fear crossed his face. He looked at the moving staircase and then back at me, as if to say, "Really?! Are you sure?" I smiled reassuringly and nodded.
He watched the stairs for a while. I think he was building up his courage. I even had to pull him aside a few times to let other people by. But eventually he stuck out his little foot and stepped on. He quickly brought his other foot along and caught his balance. Then, he immediately turned to me for two reasons.... First, to make sure that I was right there with him. And second, to celebrate with me, "I did it!"
The pride I felt in that moment was about more than just stepping on an escalator. It was about watching my son find self confidence and independence. It was from seeing the joy in his face that he did something - anything! - on his own, when he can't even see over the railing yet.
As mothers, it is easy to become like stairs. We are so committed to our children doing well and having good lives, that we lay out the upward path and point the way (or hold their hands, or even push them sometimes). But as I was riding up the escalator with Henry, I realized that the reason he was able to take that step on his own was that he had seen me do it a hundred times.
It's scary, as a mom, to think about not being needed by our children. And it's true that kids won't always need us to hold their hands. But, being an example is the most powerful thing we can do for our kids. If we want our kids to live to their fullest potential, then that is what we should do too! Kids are so much more likely to watch what we do and say, "If my mom can do that, then I can too!"
If we are stuck in our own lives, like a static staircase, no matter how hard we point upward, our children are likely to step on us and then sit down and make themselves comfortable. But if we are like an escalator, moving our own lives forward and upward, our children will want to come along for the ride. And when we say, "You can do it!" it will mean something because we already have.
