I remember the summer my dad's cousins came to visit us from rural Wisconsin. I was about 5 years old. It was their 25th wedding anniversary, and their big plans were to spend the weekend in the "Big City" of Minneapolis and then drive "Up North" to the beautiful shores of Lake Superior. It was like something straight out of Garrison Keillor's "A Prairie Home Companion."
After their weekend in the city, however, they decided it was enough. They skipped the rest of the trip, and went back home. Even as a young child at the time, I remember thinking "What?!" It made no sense to me. I have thought about it many times over the years. I could never grasp why they would want to return to their small town instead of seeing a new part of the world, even if it is just one state over.
But, I learned something recently that has helped me to put it in a new perspective. It's called the "Openness to Experience" trait. It is a personality trait identified and studied by psychologists. People who score high on this trait enjoy new experiences, new ideas, novelty, diversity, and travel.
This would be me.
I have spent significant amounts of time in Africa and Europe. I never order the same thing at a restaurant. Actually I prefer not to go to the same restaurant more than once unless it really deserves it. I will purposefully walk a different way to the grocery store just to go down a street I have never gone down before. You get the idea. I recognize that I am an extremist of the "Openness to Experience" trait.
People on the opposite side of this trait like things that are familiar, dependable, and safe. They are the people who go to the same restaurant and order the same thing, and preferably sit at the same table and have the same waitress. They like to be surrounded by things that they recognize, and prefer that you not try to change them, thank you very much.
This would be my dad's cousins.
It turns out that knowing where someone falls on the "Openness to Experience" trait can actually tell you a lot about them. It predicts what books they like to read, what foods they like to eat, and what political views they hold.*
The majority of people fall somewhere in the middle of the "Openness" continuum. We all find comfort in familiar things, but also like the excitement of trying new things. But, my dad's cousins and I are on opposite extremes. And over the years, when my parents told them of the places I was living and studying, they had a similar reaction as I had to their abandoned anniversary plans: "What?!"
For years we have stood on opposite ends, just staring at each other with awe and wonder.
We're like the City Mouse and the Country Mouse in the classic fable. And when they left Minneapolis nearly 3 decades ago, it was just as Aesop had written. They left the city mice to return home where they could live in peace.
(* For more information, see Jonathan Haidt's TED talk regarding the importance of recognizing the Openness to Experience trait.)
